I knew something was seriously wrong as soon as I arrived home after being discharged from Jessops.
I had to call out an emergency doctor who wasn’t much help as my illness wasn’t physical. The next day after pacing the house all night and calling the doctor again I was put in touch with Jan Cubison who I went to see at the Perinatal Mental Health team.
I was in denial and thought I was going mad, I thought no one else had ever felt the way I did before and that I would never get better. I refused to leave the house or eat, I wouldn’t go near my baby son and was not sleeping.
Jan told me about Light a support group she is Chair of where I could talk to other mums who had post natal depression. Jan told me that as an NHS member of staff she couldn’t put me in touch with other mums that were suffering.
Jan thought I would benefit from peer support so I went along to Light’s local support group. There I met Louise Heard. It was such a relief to talk to someone who had come out the other side. Louise was brilliant she reassured me everyday sometimes more than once. When I felt that I couldn’t go on any longer Louise came to my house to pick me up from my home to take me to a support group where a lot of other women who were suffering from post natal depression would be. She believed that it would help me, I was very nervous and did not want to go but Louise was being cruel to be kind and promised me that I would be fine.
From that group meeting I got better and better, I met women that had felt exactly the same as I did and had come out the other side. It was such a relief to realise that ‘I wasn’t the only one’ and that I was going to get better and love my baby.